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Who do I need to become?

Updated: Mar 21

Am I the only one who comes back from a personal development trip fired up and ready to take on the world only to have that feeling swept away within hours of being home? I've been to so many business seminars, I even walked on hot coals at a Tony Robbins event, and I always come back with this massive jolt of inspiration. But then...inevitably, when I walk through the door to my home and see the same furniture, eat the same food, and talk to the same people, I would pretty quickly lose the grasp I had on that excitement to change and achieve the dreams I set out for myself just days before.

Luckily, though, I changed that pattern in March. March is when I joined a business mastermind and traveled to Ohio to hang out with a group of incredible people and amazing mentors. It doesn't even feel right to call it a business mastermind, because what we do is focus on connecting with others and transforming ourselves to be the vessel to achieve our dreams. The dreams we have personally to better our own lives, the lives of the people around us, and the lives of the future generation. When I came home from that trip, it felt different. The inspiration wasn't fleeting, I didn't lose sight of my intentions, and I achieved what I set out to achieve. My business tripled from Q1 to Q2, I added a team member, and I was approached by one of the top luxury brokerages to join them and decided to take the leap to join Compass.

Why? What was different? What changed?

Why was I was able to hold onto the inspiration that came out of that weekend? It's not like I started sending mailers out to get new clients or put my face on every shopping cart in HEB (haha)! So what was it? I kept asking myself the question and I couldn't come up with an answer because I was looking in the wrong place. What I didn't realize was that what changed was me. I changed. My mindset. My thoughts. My beliefs. Who I spoke to. How I approached my life. It all started to shift. I started to become the person who I needed to be to fulfill the dreams I set out for myself.

Our group comes together and meets every 3 months. I just got home from the second trip to Ohio. I could already tell the difference in myself and so could some of the people there. One of the mentors said to me: 'Confidence looks great on you! Your posture is better, you're speaking louder. It's awesome. What a change from 3 months ago!'. Until he said that, I didn't realize that the way I physically carried myself in the world had also changed. It wasn't just my mind. I also approached this trip differently. This time around I invested in myself and got a room at the Vineyard where the event was being hosted. This new version of Melanie knows how important it is to protect my energy and be in a good space where I can recharge and relax in my robe every morning overlooking the pond before the day's events started. This version of Melanie knew I wanted a space to retreat on the breaks to reflect on everything I had learned. Sure, I could have saved several hundred dollars by booking a hotel offsite, but that wasn't in alignment with this new version of me.

One of the things we do while we are there is sit in a 'hot seat' where the other members and our mentors listen and give feedback as we answer some questions:

  • Where is your business currently?

  • Where do you want your business to go?

  • What is holding you back?

  • What do you need to do in the next 90 days to achieve this?

  • Who do you need to become?

Speaking for myself, this time around when I started going through the questions...I already knew what I had to do to achieve the goals I set out for my business. I knew before I even set foot on the plane to go to Ohio. I didn't really need anyone to tell me. So that begs the question: If I knew what I needed to do to grow, why wasn't I doing it yet?

I went back to my cozy room and spent some time reflecting on this and I realized that I must have had amnesia from the last mastermind. The answer lies in the changes I described above after the first mastermind, and the most underrated question (in my opinion) we answer while we're sitting in the hot seat: Who do I need to become?. The reality is, the thoughts, actions, and way I go about life, got me to where I am today, but in order to grow and change that...I must become a different version of myself. Again. Yes. The changes I made from March to June aren't going to propel me to where I want to be in September. Growth is never ending and the faster we can continue to transform, the faster we can achieve our dreams.

Most of my life, I spent my time looking outside myself for the right tool, 3-step process, quick fix, or easy button to achieve my goals. Sure tools and processes are important. Let's apply this concept to a weight loss goal, yes, you need to eat right and exercise...but we all know this. We all know what we need to do. So why do we keep hopping on every new diet trend or trying a new workout sequence thinking it will be the answer to our prayers? Because we are not looking to the right place, the most important place: ourselves.

Who do you need to become in order to achieve your health goals?

This is the unpopular solution because that means doing the things that most people won't do. You have to spend time in reflection, journaling, and asking yourself the questions like:

  • What has stopped me from achieving this goal in the past?

  • What scares me about achieving this goal?

  • In what way is me staying in this place serving me?

  • What am I telling myself my life will look like when I achieve this? Can I embody that now?

  • What changes in my thoughts do I need to make to become the person who achieves this goal?

  • Who do I need to stop hanging out with? Who do I need to start hanging out with?

  • Where do I need to stop going? Where do I need to start going?

In a world where everyone is trying to sell you on the fastest, best, most efficient way to transform, I challenge you to turn that lens from looking outside yourself to looking inward. It is what has made the biggest difference in my life and although it's not the most clear-cut way to do it, in my experience it's the most effective. If there's a goal you've set for yourself on January 1st of every single year for the past 10 years, maybe start there. Start there, and ask yourself some of the questions I listed above. You might be surprised at what you find out about yourself in the process and you might actually start making real traction on that goal!

Until next time loves,

Ciao!! xx

P/s: Here's a song I've been loving lately, my absolute favorite line of the whole song is - Know I'm supposed to be unhappy without someone

But aren't I someone?

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1 Comment

Excellent! You have captured the essence of the board room experience. Thank you for sharing this.

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